(The frum--or should I say, yeshivish?--girls' version, with apologies to Marc Shaiman.)
MOTHER #1
Don't contradict me!
MOTHER #2
Don't disobey me!
SHADCHAN
Don't even think about walking out of the house looking like that.
SURI, BAILA & CHAIKY
Please!
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
No!
3 GIRLS
Mommy!!!!
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Stop!
SURI
Stop telling me what to do
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Don't!
BAILA
Don't treat me like a child of two
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
No!
CHAIKY
I know that you want what's best
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Please!
CHAIKY
But mother, please,
GIRLS
Give it a rest!!!
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Mama, I'm a big girl now!
CHAIKY
I feel like you still treat me like I’m just a kid
You never let me do just what the married girls did
But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now!
SURI
Once upon a time I used to play with toys
But now I go on dates with yeshiva boys
So, if I leave the house without permission, please don't have a cow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
BAILA
Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt
I got my best primping lessons from you
But once in awhile, I just gotta get out--
And if my hair’s not blown,
I’m still a good Jew!
Wo -oh -oh -oh -oh
CHAIKY
Once I used to fidget
'Cause I just sat home
SURI
But now I’m going stir-crazy
And you gotta let me roam!
BAILA
So say, tzeiseich l’shalom!
CHAIKY
Toodle-loo!
SURI
And ciao!
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
GIRLS
Mama, I’m a big girl now
(hey mama, say mama)
CHAIKY
Once upon a time I could wear just anything
Could dress up or down and nobody would say a thing
Won't you burn your list of clothing I must disavow?
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
SURI
Wo - oh - oh - oh - oh
Once upon a time you used to threaten me
If I ate too much then no one would marry me
But I have an extra ice cream, don’t call me a cow
GIRLS
'Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
GIRLS
Ma, you always taught me
What was right from wrong
Did I ever give you reason to cry?
Mama, I've been in the nest for far too long
So please give a push and Mama watch me fly
SURI
Watch me fly
GIRLS Hey, mama, say mama
BAILA
Someday I will meet a boy
You won't condemn
SURI
Iy”H we’ll have some kids
And you can coddle them
CHAIKY
But let me breathe a little
Before I take that vow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now
BAILA
Oh - Oh - Oh
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl now
SURI
Hey - Hey - Hey
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl
SURI
Ooh, such a big, big girl!
GIRLS
I'm a big girl now
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl now!!!
Original Lyrics found here.
Original Song here, it's Song #3 on the Jukebox.
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14 comments:
Good one :-)
And you're the independent one! Do you really have to deal with this, or was it written out of empathy for people like me?
Nice! Seamless adaptation. Can't tell it wasn't written for the shidduch musical. Now we just need a script... :-D
That was really cute. I never heard of the original...It's been a ride but the past few years have been somewhat like this poem. Thank goodness my mother has been adaptable and really gives me space now. But it did take time. Thanks for the laughs.
bas~melech--B"H, this is NOT the story of my life! I would be a very, very frustrated young lady if my parents tried to treat me like this! It was written out of sympathy/empathy for people like you, indeed...and also because I was listening to the soundtrack the other night and was struck by the hilarious possibilities of the similarities. It was too good not to write. ;-)
B4S--thanks! High praise indeed. :-P So when are you going to start writing?
HS--I wouldn't expect you to know the original, but I'm glad you enjoy my adaptation! (It's actually a song, not a poem.) You're very fortunate your mother has learned to give you your space, because a lot of mothers never do.
And it could be set around Baltimore-- better alert the Star-K you're comin' to town.
Phenomenal! Can't wait for it to appear on Jewish Broadway.
Forget just one song, ALL OF HAIRSPRAY can be rewritten to this theme! :D Nice parodying!
tova--why, what's so special about Baltimore? The ransom on girls' heads? That's not really what this song is about.
anon--somehow, I don't think this one is gonna make it into the Bais Yaakov play. :-P
erachet--true, but this song works best. Although maybe we could write it so it's "interracial" tension between Ashkenazim and Sefardim. Hmmm.... ;)
Hah. Hah. And please- do do the rest of the adaptation!!!! We'd love to see it!
Awesome. You're treading on G's territory (on Ezzie's blog) with your song rewrites. Excellent job.
mindy--welcome, and I'm glad you liked. :) I might not do the rest of Hairspray, but I'm already thinking of other musical songs I can spoof.
sarak--he's doing popular songs; I'm doing musicals. If he has a problem he can let me know himself. And I've already got another in the works... ;-)
This was very good. You reminded me of a number of song rewrites Ive been meaning to do that I never got around to..
You've been sooo quiet lately. Hope everything is good with you...have a gr8 shabbos.
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