Have you ever met one of those people who seems to live eternally in sunshine? They lead enchanted lives, these lucky ones, in which nothing goes wrong, they never disappoint or are disappointed, sadness is nearly a foreign entity, and they are free to dance through life with a smile always on their carefree faces. And the spotlight is theirs for the taking, though sometimes they seem as if they hardly know it's there. Granted, even the the sunniest climate (or personality) will have a rainy day every now and then, but such occurrences are few and far between, and they are over almost before they are even started.
Then there are the people who seem to live always in the shadows. They are often unnoticed, unseen, overlooked by life and everyone in it. For them, life has held more pain than pleasure, more failure than success, more disappointment than hope. Even when the sun comes out it does not penetrate the gloom, and the rain clouds come rushing back with an unhealthy alacrity.
However, most of us are not so simply pigeonholed. We move back and forth between the sunshine and rainclouds, the spotlight and backstage. Some people enjoy external sunshine but live with internal shadows they are petrified to reveal, for fear of judgment, ridicule, or abandonment. We paint smiles on our faces and go out dancing in the sun while hoping our masks will hold the shadows in. Some people work hard and still harder, trying to gain their piece of the magic, their moment in the sun, only to find themselves eternally passed over or overlooked, relegated time and time again to the shadows. It is not through lack of effort that they do not get their time in the sun. Still others could be stars if they chose to, but they opt out of the limelight, preferring to work behind the scenes, embracing the anonymity of the shadows wholeheartedly. Their internal sun more than outshines the artificiality of the spotlight.
I've spent a lot of time in the shadows--sometimes by choice, oftentimes not. Sometimes the shadows were kinder; the sunshine burned. Some sunshine that most take for granted was never a part of my life, and I barely notice its absence, except when the rain is falling particularly hard. But sometimes now I appreciate the sunshine that comes my way that much more, because I know the shadows so well.
And I am learning to make my own sunshine from within...
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23 comments:
[nodding all the way...]
And I am learning to make my own sunshine from within...
I think that's the key.
I don't think anyone leads a perfect life, but i do think some people are better at projecting a sunny exterior despite what they are going through. either way, it's annoying;)
ditto what ezzie said!
How do you manage to read my thoughts every time?!
Hmmm...reminds me of
"We wear the mask the mask that grins and lies/ It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes/ This debt we pay to human guile/ With torn and bleeding hearts we smile/ And mouth with myriad subtleties..."
Anybody recognize?
And you also made me think of the only good Jewish novel I ever read---Sun Inside Rain.
Read it, Scraps. I'll lend it to you.
And dear...there are no such extreme people. We're all acting, playing, masking something...whether we show it or not...
...Are we secretly the same person under two different blog names???
These thoughts go through my head very often. I often look at people and wonder, why is it they're always in a good mood? Why do they never seem to have any problems? Why are they always the popular ones? And there are some people who you know that no matter where they go or who they're with, they're always going to come out on top. Some people are just like that. But I also am beginning to learn that, often, people seem that way, but once you get to know them, you realize that everyone has their faults, everyone has their darkness, and everyone has their insecurities and moments in the shadows. I think what's difficult is that people's definition of "sunshine" and "shadows" often vary, so what's sunshine for one may be shadows for another, etc.
And this is why it is always good to work on yourself and try not to compare yourself to others, except this is advice that is so much easier said than done and I have still not yet mastered it. I'm learning it and relearning it every day. But that doesn't stop it from being good advice! :)
From experience..
You never, never know..whats really going on.
Sometimes those that appear to have it all..are suffering the most dreadful things silently..
I have met more of the latter described, those in the shadow. It is rare to find one with a sunny disposition at all times. Good for you that you realize your worth..and let me tell you, what you think you are worth, is in fact way, way more. Maybe because of the time you spent in the shadows, you are a very kind and understanding person.
I'm very closely related to someone who seems to be a sunshine. It bothered me for a little, but in reality, while *his* life may be sunny, sometimes the lives of those around him aren't, and that impacts him greatly.
Ezzie--I'm trying.
MH--no, no one leads a 100% perfect life, but some people's lives certainly seem more charmed than others'.
~sarah~--like I said to Ezzie, I'm trying.
Irina--cuz we're secret twins, that's why. Remember? ;-)
CP--I don't recognize the poem, but I'd really like to know where it's from and who wrote it. I'd love to borrow the novel, if I ever see you. :-P And I disagree, not everyone is playacting. Many of us, yes; everyone, no.
erachet--I don't know, you tell me! :-P You're right, it is good advice to avoid comparing oneself to others, but it is definitely far easier said than done. Especially for me, since it was ingrained in me from a very young age. But I'm working on it.
DOTL--yes, this is true. I know that there are people who are all sunny on the outside who are crying on the inside, and I said as much. Some people are very good at hiding what's really going on.
halfshared--awww, thanks! :) I'm not sure I do realize my worth, at least not all the time, but I'm trying.
pleats--absolutely...and isn't that a type of shadows too, to have people you are close to suffer? And you have to stand by and watch it happen, not able to do anything but daven...
Yup, that's what I was saying. Things are not always how they appear.
I wish I could be one of those people.
And I am learning to make my own sunshine from within...
good post
I can really identify with the sunlight that burns, sometimes I just want to crawl into the shadows and feel what I feel in peace.
pleats--true, things are not always as they seem on the surface. I'm well aware of that...
aidelknaidel--sometimes I wish that, too. But I'm not sure I'd change things, either, given the chance.
hakiruv--thank you. :)
anon678--in that case, I hope you can find your quiet, peaceful, cool shadows, away from the burning sunshine.
the sunshine from within is the only genuine sunshine to be had
Scraps--
It's by Paul Laurence Dunbar, and it's excellent. I had to memorize it for 10th grade lit, and I still remember it by heart and quote it every so often because it's so applicable to life...
http://www.potw.org/archive/potw8.html
great post.
btw-tagged you. check my blog
www.dreamsofwho.blogspot.com
wow scraps, that was an incredible post...not that I'm surprised ;)
making one's sunshine from within is the hardest part.
Brilliantly put.
lakewood--yes, that's true. But sometimes we need a reminder of that...
CP--thanks for the source! I'll have to look it up in its entirity now. :)
come running--thanks for the tag, now I'll have something else to do and Ezzie will stop bugging me to update. ;-)
psyched--thank you. It is the hardest part...but also the most worthwhile.
well- a good attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort!
Hahaha! Now there's the spirit! :-P
Wow. Excellent, beautiful post. Thank you. LS put it very well: "the sunshine from within is the only genuine sunshine to be had." It's so true.
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