Many years ago, I heard a vort on why we say "shanah tovah u'metukah"--a good and sweet year. What's the difference between something that is "good" and something that is "sweet"? Well, there are things in our lives that Hashem causes to happen, and they're for the good because they're His will, but we may have a hard time seeing that, because we are human and our understanding is finite. Things that are sweet are the good things that Hashem bestows upon us that we can clearly understand as being good. Though everything that happens in our lives is from Hashem, we hope that our lives will be full of things that are sweet, so that we can appreciate the goodness that Hashem is giving us.
That said--I'd like to wish all of my friends and readers a gmar chatimah tovah, and a shanah tovah u'metukah!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
All about meme
I've been tagged for this one by Libby. Thanks! :)
1. FIRST NAME?
Scraps
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Hebrew (Yiddish?) name, yes; my English name is derived from my Hebrew name.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
I almost cried last night; I really cried about a week ago.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes
5. What happened to question #5?
6. KIDS?
I like the good ones. :) None of my own yet, unless you count "my girls" from doing kiruv work.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so, but I'm not sure.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Yes, but I don't write in it regularly.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Define "a lot".
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Baruch Hashem.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not if you paid me.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Dry, Golden Crisp/Smacks (they're the same thing from different companies, as far as I'm concerned); with milk, Basic 4.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I don't usually wear shoes with laces, but when I do, not usually.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically, relatively so (one friend of mine used to call me her "freakishly strong friend" :-P). Emotionally...well, it depends on how you define "strength", I guess. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR ICE CREAM?
Pralines 'n' Cream.
16. APPLES OR ORANGES?
Oranges.
17. RED OR PINK?
I guess pink, if I have to choose, but I'm not a major fan of either.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Classified.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Classified.
20. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE YEAR IN SCHOOL?
Second grade.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey skirt, black shoes.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
A bagel and an omelette.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The music in my head.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The one that nobody notices.
25. FAVORITE SMELL?
Fresh-baked challah, or my mother's pizza coming out of the oven.
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend who walked back to her apartment late last night and called to tell me she got there safely.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes
29. FAVORITE DRINK?
Milkshake, preferably an exotic fruit flavor (but the real kind, not the nasty fake-tasting kind from a mix).
30. FAVORITE SPORT?
To watch, figure skating. To play, probably soccer, though it's been a while.
31. EYE COLOR?
Hazel
32. HAT SIZE?
Small?
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope, baruch Hashem yom yom.
34. FAVORITE FOOD?
My mother's homemade pizza; any of my mother's Shabbos food. :)
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
Happy endings; scary movies still give me nightmares.
36. What happened to question #36?
37. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
White with black, light blue, and pink checks.
38. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer
39. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs
40. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Creme brulee.
41. & 42. These questions have gone missing, too...
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Forests of the Heart, Sefer Devarim.
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Doodles from the last person who worked here before me.
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV?
Nothing
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Laughter, music.
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Since I've never listened to anything from the Rolling Stones, I guess the Beatles win.
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
Israel.
49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT?
Wiggling my ears.
I tag TRW, Okee, hisbonenus, and kasamba! (I'd tag Irina, too, but she just did the world's longest meme, so I'm not gonna make her do another so soon.)
1. FIRST NAME?
Scraps
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Hebrew (Yiddish?) name, yes; my English name is derived from my Hebrew name.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
I almost cried last night; I really cried about a week ago.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes
5. What happened to question #5?
6. KIDS?
I like the good ones. :) None of my own yet, unless you count "my girls" from doing kiruv work.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so, but I'm not sure.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Yes, but I don't write in it regularly.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Define "a lot".
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Baruch Hashem.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not if you paid me.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Dry, Golden Crisp/Smacks (they're the same thing from different companies, as far as I'm concerned); with milk, Basic 4.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I don't usually wear shoes with laces, but when I do, not usually.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically, relatively so (one friend of mine used to call me her "freakishly strong friend" :-P). Emotionally...well, it depends on how you define "strength", I guess. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR ICE CREAM?
Pralines 'n' Cream.
16. APPLES OR ORANGES?
Oranges.
17. RED OR PINK?
I guess pink, if I have to choose, but I'm not a major fan of either.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Classified.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Classified.
20. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE YEAR IN SCHOOL?
Second grade.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey skirt, black shoes.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
A bagel and an omelette.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The music in my head.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The one that nobody notices.
25. FAVORITE SMELL?
Fresh-baked challah, or my mother's pizza coming out of the oven.
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend who walked back to her apartment late last night and called to tell me she got there safely.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes
29. FAVORITE DRINK?
Milkshake, preferably an exotic fruit flavor (but the real kind, not the nasty fake-tasting kind from a mix).
30. FAVORITE SPORT?
To watch, figure skating. To play, probably soccer, though it's been a while.
31. EYE COLOR?
Hazel
32. HAT SIZE?
Small?
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope, baruch Hashem yom yom.
34. FAVORITE FOOD?
My mother's homemade pizza; any of my mother's Shabbos food. :)
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
Happy endings; scary movies still give me nightmares.
36. What happened to question #36?
37. COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
White with black, light blue, and pink checks.
38. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer
39. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs
40. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Creme brulee.
41. & 42. These questions have gone missing, too...
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Forests of the Heart, Sefer Devarim.
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Doodles from the last person who worked here before me.
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV?
Nothing
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Laughter, music.
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Since I've never listened to anything from the Rolling Stones, I guess the Beatles win.
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
Israel.
49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT?
Wiggling my ears.
I tag TRW, Okee, hisbonenus, and kasamba! (I'd tag Irina, too, but she just did the world's longest meme, so I'm not gonna make her do another so soon.)
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Forgiveness II
This post is a sort of follow up to my previous post, Forgiveness. The flip side, if you will.
Have you ever had to ask for mechilah? As in, really ask for it, not just to cover your bases in case there was some minor incident in December that you've both long forgotten anyway? It can be so hard, in so many ways. First of all, in a disagreement, there are usually two sides, and both feel they are in the right. In order to get to the level where one side can forgive the other, someone has to go first--swallow their own hurt, their pride, and humbly come to the other party and say, "I'm sorry, I did you wrong, and I know I hurt you. Please forgive me." Second, even if one side is willing and able to do that, sometimes the other side is still hurting too much to let that pain go, and if they're being honest, they won't just tell the other party that s/he is forgiven when it is not so. Then, the first party has two choices--accept that forgiveness has not been granted, and forget about it; or accept that forgiveness has not been granted, and try again later.
Recently, I had the experience of having to ask for mechilah from someone who was once a good friend. We'd lost contact since the disagreement, and I always felt the loss, so I asked her for mechilah finally many months ago when we chanced to meet. I was struck when I received the first "No" of my life; it stuck in my mind that I had perhaps received the most honest answer I ever had. So I tried again recently, since it is the season...and I got what I called for, b"H. It was the most liberating feeling, to know I had this girl's forgiveness. A huge weight was lifted from me. And it was hard--make no mistake. But it was completely, totally worth it.
Have you ever had to ask for mechilah? As in, really ask for it, not just to cover your bases in case there was some minor incident in December that you've both long forgotten anyway? It can be so hard, in so many ways. First of all, in a disagreement, there are usually two sides, and both feel they are in the right. In order to get to the level where one side can forgive the other, someone has to go first--swallow their own hurt, their pride, and humbly come to the other party and say, "I'm sorry, I did you wrong, and I know I hurt you. Please forgive me." Second, even if one side is willing and able to do that, sometimes the other side is still hurting too much to let that pain go, and if they're being honest, they won't just tell the other party that s/he is forgiven when it is not so. Then, the first party has two choices--accept that forgiveness has not been granted, and forget about it; or accept that forgiveness has not been granted, and try again later.
Recently, I had the experience of having to ask for mechilah from someone who was once a good friend. We'd lost contact since the disagreement, and I always felt the loss, so I asked her for mechilah finally many months ago when we chanced to meet. I was struck when I received the first "No" of my life; it stuck in my mind that I had perhaps received the most honest answer I ever had. So I tried again recently, since it is the season...and I got what I called for, b"H. It was the most liberating feeling, to know I had this girl's forgiveness. A huge weight was lifted from me. And it was hard--make no mistake. But it was completely, totally worth it.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Forgiveness
It's that time of year again--every meeting ends with "K'sivah v'chasimah tovah...oh, are you mochel me?" With most people, it's almost a flippant exchange. "Oh, by the way, are you mochel me?" "Of course I am, are you mochel me?" "Of course!" "Okay great, see ya around, have a k'sivah v'chasimah tovah!" "You too!" Et cetera, in various forms.
But the question is--do we mean it? Is forgiveness really so easy to grant? Sure, when it's someone you hardly see and never have a chance to really wrong or offend, it's a lot easier, because it's much less likely that either of you did anything to each other in the first place. Saying you forgive them--even for that one little thing that happened last December that you already forgot--is not difficult.
The rest of the year, as well, it's fairly easy to rationalize to oneself, "Oh, I have time to make up with so-and-so, it's only Tevet/Nissan/Av/whatever. Things will cool down, and then I'll really ask for forgiveness/be able to forgive him/her." Then Elul comes around, and all of a sudden you're caught unprepared...
What about when the hurt is still there? Can you grant true forgiveness when that part of your heart just won't let go of the pain that someone caused you, even if you intellectually want to forgive that person?
But the question is--do we mean it? Is forgiveness really so easy to grant? Sure, when it's someone you hardly see and never have a chance to really wrong or offend, it's a lot easier, because it's much less likely that either of you did anything to each other in the first place. Saying you forgive them--even for that one little thing that happened last December that you already forgot--is not difficult.
The rest of the year, as well, it's fairly easy to rationalize to oneself, "Oh, I have time to make up with so-and-so, it's only Tevet/Nissan/Av/whatever. Things will cool down, and then I'll really ask for forgiveness/be able to forgive him/her." Then Elul comes around, and all of a sudden you're caught unprepared...
What about when the hurt is still there? Can you grant true forgiveness when that part of your heart just won't let go of the pain that someone caused you, even if you intellectually want to forgive that person?
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