Shidduch Musical: The Big Dollhouse, Brooklyn Marriot version

For all who want to check out the original version, it can be found here. (Men, be forewarned, there is kol ishah involved.) The lyrics can be found here.

[Setting the scene: Nine couples are sitting in the lobby of the Brooklyn Marriot when a tenth walks in. One of the guys stands up, says, "Hey, there are ten of us! We can chapp a maariv!" and all the men exit. Girls look around at each other, stand up, and start to sing:]

GIRLS:

I gotta get out

I gotta get out

I gotta get out

How’d I get in this hotel, this lobby, this big bad date?!

LEADER: [spoken]

Alright, ladies, welcome to the Brooklyn Marriot, otherwise known as the Big Dollhouse! For those of you who are new to this place, let me tell you how we ended up here: our mothers! It’s like they never dated when they were young.

GIRL #1:

Stuck here cuz of those nosy women

GIRL #2:

Drinking diet Cokes until we’re swimmin’

GIRL #3:

This was totally not worth dry cleaning my blouse!

LEADER:

Don’t it feel like you’re trapped

ALL:

In a big dollhouse?

GIRL #4:

Lady Justice, where have you gone?

GIRL #2, on cell phone:
Oh, Mommy, check – I think I left the iron on!

GIRL #1:

Did you see my date laughing at me? I’ll murder that louse!

LEADER:

Welcome to life

ALL:

In the big dollhouse!

Big house!

GIRL #1:

It feels like we’re locked up in a pen

GIRL #3:

No phone! [Girl #2 waves hers, taunting; Girl #3 gives her a dirty look]

GIRL #4:

No food!

GIRL #5:

Just MEN! [all roll eyes]

GIRL #2:

My date’s as quiet as a mouse!

LEADER:

Honey, just drop the drama

ALL:

In the big dollhouse!

[Loud unintelligible conversation ensues]

GIRL #6:

You know, my stomach’s been feeling sour

GIRL #7:

And I haven’t eaten in over six hours!

LEADER:

Girls, you gotta suffer to find your spouse.

ALL:

So there’s nothing to eat in the big dollhouse.

GIRL #1, to LEADER:

Hey, don’t we have a right to complain?

GIRL #8, interrupting, to GIRL #1:

Haven’t I seen you around 70^th and Main?

GIRL #1:

[Shrieks and runs away]

It figures a Queens girl’s here,

She lives around the corner from my house!

ALL:

Small world!

GIRL #4:

No fair!

GIRL #7:

No food!

GIRL #9:

No FUN!

ALL

Big house!

GIRL #5:

And our search has just begun!

Cuz we gotta keep dating till we find a spouse –

So we’ll keep meeting up at this

ALL:

Big dollhouse!

[More loud conversation]

LEADER [looking at watch]:

Girls, I’m getting sick of all this waiting,

We’ve lost our men – can you call this dating?!

GIRL #2:

Hey, who are you to grumble or grouse?

ALL:

Yeah, we’re all in it together in the big dollhouse!

LEADER:

Okay, cool it, ladies, no need to shout.

What do we gotta do to bail ourselves out?

GIRL #8:

I don’t want to date a loser!

GIRL #9:

A hocker!

GIRL #2:

A mouse!

GIRL #1:

For now, it’s just us girls in the big dollhouse.

ALL:

Big house!

GIRL #3:

G-d, I think I’m gonna die!

ALL:

Big house!

GIRL #2:

I’m busting out!

GIRL #5:

Girl, so am I!

[Both dance towards the lobby door but stop just short.]

ALL:

HaKadosh Baruch Hu, hear my plea –

‘Cause the big dollhouse,

The big dollhouse,

The big dollhouse,

Ain’t big enough for me!

For me!

For me!

LEADER:

For me!

[Men re-enter the room, stand gaping and looking very confused. Girls stop short and scramble to the nearest seat, each inevitably ending up with a different guy than the one she started with, and start to make conversation as if nothing has happened.]

Reflections on a year in the life

This past year was a year of big changes for me - but as the saying goes, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

B"H some things changed for the better. Some things...well, I'm sure it will be for the better in the big picture, but for the time being, it's pretty darned hard to see how. But I know that I do not see the bigger picture, only the tiny little corner of it that is my life and my world.

It has been a year of lessons, some good and some more difficult.

I've learned that I value being valued.

I've learned that the right friends can get me through my darkest moments, but only if I let myself trust them enough to let them know I need them. I've learned that a friend moving away doesn't mean a friend leaving my life, nor have I left hers. I've learned that I am stronger than I sometimes think I am.

I've learned that "meshaneh makom, meshaneh mazal" doesn't necessarily mean that I have to be the one moving - sometimes someone else being meshaneh their makom is meshaneh my mazal. This has worked strongly in my favor in recent times. ;-)

I've learned that often it is better to come right out and get things in the open, because when I am open and honest I can work on situations and change them instead of just worrying about them. Often I worry too much about how such honesty will be received. I worry too much in general. That is something I am working on trying to unlearn.

I've learned that sometimes I need to be "bullied" into doing things that are good for me, but I'm grateful afterward to the people who do so. It takes a special kind of friend to be able to twist my arm for my own good.

I've learned that many, many people value me in their lives, and they value me for who I am, with all my positive and negative aspects. I need to learn to trust that I am valued and to value myself in the same way. I treasure my friends; I am worthy of being treasured in the same way.

I've learned that I still have a lot of work to do on myself. Not that I thought I was done, but in some respects, for awhile I had thought I could relax a bit. Not so. I need to learn how to define myself as me and not by external factors, because external factors are always subject to change. Just because situations have changed or people have changed doesn't mean that I have to change as well. I am still me...if I can figure out who "me" is.

I've learned that, as usual, I still have a lot to learn.

May we all be inscribed for a good and sweet year, in which the lessons we learn in life are not painful.

Life update, post-birthday edition

You know you've been a lazy slacker of a blogger when your last year's birthday post is still on the front page - and it's not even at at the bottom of the front page. I really was determined to post more this time last year. It just...didn't happen. I'm not sure if it was lack of inspiration, lack of motivation, lack of words to express what I wanted to say, or some combination of those and other factors that resulted in the lack of posts.

So, what have I been up to? It's so hard to put a whole year into a short synopsis for easy consumption, but I suppose I shall try.

~I welcomed the cutest nephew EVER into the world. He's the love of my life; too bad he's in another country and can't be my boyfriend because he's 25 years younger than me (and my nephew). He's freaking gorgeous. And no, I'm not just saying that because he's my nephew.
~I started a new job, which didn't pay as much as my old one but which gave me far more satisfaction. (Gee whiz, it's fun to be appreciated! Who'da thunk?) I also decided to continue to do this job for the coming year, despite whatever shortcomings there are in the compensation package. Hey, it's a job, and I enjoy it. That's worth a lot in my book.
~I found out that as much as I hated working 9-5, the structure it provides can be helpful. It's not that I don't enjoy my own company, but too much unstructured time is just not a good thing. (Okay, so a couple of the shortcomings in the job aren't only compensation-related.)
~I learned that my feelings about small children have changed. Once upon a time, I had a fairly low tolerance level for misbehaving children between the ages of, oh, two to twelve or so. But especially the younger ones, for some reason. Now I gladly substitute teach for preschoolers, and it's not only because the pay is quite decent. Finding out that I could spend four hours with 3-year-olds and actually enjoy it came as quite a surprise.
~There have been many, many ups and downs in the past year. B"H there have been many simchas, and b"H I have much in my life to be thankful for. Unfortunately, it's not always so easy to see that or to say it. However, this year, I finally decided (after some kicks in the tush from helpful friends) to actually try to do something about it.
~In this same vein, I also discovered that occasionally it is all right to be blackmailed for one's own good. No, that is not an invitation.
~I have been through many roommates and many uncomfortable situations involving roommates. I have successfully replaced two roommates, the second of which happened through complete hashgacha pratis. B"H I am looking forward to my new roommates, and I think I shall be far happier with my living situation than I have been in a long time.
~I have learned, firsthand, exactly how annoying it is to have a car in my neighborhood. I have a newly developed hate for alternate side parking in NYC. Thank G-d having the car is temporary.
~I have been to Delaware and back in under 24 hours. Did you know that singing silly songs at ungodly hours of the night is a great way to stay awake while driving at said ungodly hours?
~I joined Facebook. Yep, I finally caved. It was just time.
~I have strengthened and solidified many friendships and let others go. Others have continued much as they were before. I have tried to strengthen some existing friendships so as to have a support network in place when other friendships must, for whatever reasons, change. I hope it works. I am glad I have good friends who care very much about me, wherever in the world they are. Such friends are gifts straight from HKB"H.
~I celebrated the 26th anniversary of my birth with one such friend and had a fabulous time. We went to Broadway in Bryant Park, among other fun things, and it was a party. And I got a very thoughtful birthday call from another such friend who was unable to participate in the festivities because she is now very far away. Both the company and the call were very much appreciated, as were all the other various birthday well-wishes by phone, e-card, text, and FB.

All right, that's basically my year al regel achat. Hopefully I'll be back to update this thing sometime before next year's birthday rolls around. Till then, happy trails to you all, until we meet again.

Snow + Birkat HaChama = ???

You got that right, folks. Erev Pesach, and it's snowing in Nowheresville. Actually, at the moment it's not, but it was flurrying earlier.

This morning, as my mother and I were driving to shul for minyan*, it was dark and overcast. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about how it would be a real shame if I didn't get to say Birkat HaChama with Shem v'Malchut because I went home for Pesach to a place where it's cold and grey. Sure, we could still say the tefillot and everything, but it wouldn't be the same. I'd feel like I was missing out.

Still, I tried to push that to the back of my mind and just concentrate on davening. It's not like I can control the weather - if it's cold and grey, it's cold and grey, and there's nothing I can do about that.

Then, just as the chazzan was finishing the repetition of the Shmoneh Esreh, my rabbi announced, "The sun is out! We're going outside to do Birkat HaChama NOW!" My ears perked up. Could he be serious? The sun came out, just in time? We all bundled into our coats and went outside to the shul parking lot. There were snow flurries falling, but lo and behold, the sun was really out and shining! We quickly said the bracha and the tefillot and went back inside to finish davening and be present for the rabbi's siyum.

By the time we came out again, the sun was already hidden behind the clouds and the sky has been overcast ever since. I think it's really special that the sun shone for a few minutes this morning, just for us. :)

I would like to wish all of my readers and friends a chag kasher v'sameach, and in this time of redemption for our people, may we all experience our own geulot from our own personal Mitzrayims.

L'shana habaa b'Yerushalayim!

The mark of an out-of-towner?

(With all due respect to my in-town friends. I just had to share this story; I couldn't make it up if I tried.)

I was recently in Brooklyn running errands and I stopped to get something to eat. The place I went is sort of like a cross between Circa and Cafe K - it does both takeout and sit-down, but if you're sitting down and not getting pizza, you get to eat off real dishes, and also the food is freshly made (unlike at Circa, where it sits out all day and they microwave it for you to make it hot). However, the prices are generally lower, which is good for my budget right now.

No, no, that's not the story. Here's the story.

I was waiting by the counter because I had asked for a cup of water, when a girl stopped and looked at me. I didn't know her, so I gave her a look back that said, "Do I know you?" without being rude about it.

In response to my quizzical look, she said, "I'm just trying to figure out where you're from."

Me: [another quizzical look]

Random Girl: Well, I think you must be from out of town.

Me: What makes you say that?

Random Girl: Well, it's just...you're so nice and polite and everything.

Me: Well, you guessed right, I am from out of town.

Random Girl: Are you from Chicago?

Me: No.

Random Girl: Detroit?

Me: No.

Random Girl: You're not from California, are you?

Me: No, not from California. [thinking, Thank G-d she doesn't think I'm a Valley Girl...]

Random Girl: St. Louis?

Me: No, where I'm from isn't that far away.

Random Girl: Philadelphia?

Me: No. You're never going to guess where I'm actually from, so I'll just tell you. I'm from [Yehuppetzville].

Random Girl: Oh! Well, that's original...

Me: Yup. Anyway, have a good night!

Random Girl: Good night! [she leaves]


I remained to eat my meal, totally mystified about how that whole conversation came about. After all, I had not been acting in any such way that I felt was out of the ordinary. I was even wearing a sweater, black skirt, and had my hair pulled back in a black headband. Who knows...

The advantages of going to a small shul

The shul that I attend is not big, or flashy, or popular. It is not "The Scene", or even a scene. It's smaller than it probably should be, considering the ever-expanding frum demographic in my neighborhood. I often get labeled (or jokingly label myself) anti-social for going there while most of the people I know attend The Big Shul.

However, I have my reasons for going there. First of all, I like that it's not a scene. I can go there and daven and concentrate on my tefillot rather than on who's walking in or what the girls in front of me are wearing. There are a few people my age, but there are also older people and middle aged people and younger people and some kids running around. If I don't come to shul for a few weeks in a row (which happens fairly often, as I go away a lot), when I come back people will come up to me at kiddush and welcome me back and ask me how I've been. If I didn't go to The Big Shul for a year, no one would notice.

Another thing I really like about belonging to a small shul (yes, I pay membership dues!) is that each individual really has an opportunity to have an impact. For instance, this Shabbos, I was sort of on my way out after kiddush when I overheard a snatch of conversation - something about someone looking for sources of kosher cheeses and chocolate from various countries. Of course, they weren't asking for my personal input, but it happened to be that I knew of a source of chocolate from one of the countries they were seeking to get product from, so I piped up, "Oh, I know of a company that makes kosher chocolate in [insert country]! It's the Thus-and-Such Company, and it's under [the local, generally reliable Va'ad HaKashrus]."

All of a sudden, I find myself a part of an impromptu brainstorming session about a future event to be held at the shul in order to get the word out in the neighborhood about the shul, and possibly raise a little money as well. I introduce myself to the main character who seems to be involved in the planning - interestingly enough, someone else who is new to the shul - and she asks if I happen to be on the shul's Events Committee.

"Not yet," I answered.

"You are now!" she replied, and we shook hands on it. She said she'd get my number from the shul secretary and call me the next time they have an official meeting of the Events Committee. And just like that, I'm a full-fledged member of said committee and am fully involved in all of the planning of this event and other future events to be held at the shul. Wonderful!

I ended up staying at shul at least twenty minutes longer than I had originally intended to, but I left feeling excited and exhilarated. Where else could that happen, that by chance I could put in my two cents and end up on the Events Committee? I'd get swallowed up in a larger shul. Maybe others like the commotion, the "scene". I like my small, homey shul, where I can make a difference. :)

Gold

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

~Robert Frost

This is something I have long been afraid of - that gold, which is so elusive to begin with, and so hard-won, will elude me even when it seems to finally be in my hands. Even when I am happy and fulfilled, there is that slight, nagging worry that is looking to the future when that happiness will be lost or taken away. Some things are just too good to be true.

It's a stupid and self-defeating way to go through life, I know. I try not to. And yet, time and time again, my caution has often proven correct. Sometimes, perhaps, one could say it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I am aware of the danger of that road. I try to self-correct to guard against that.

Once again, gold is in my hands. Once again, I have reason to believe that it might soon be lost. But I have no way of knowing for sure without making it even more likely that I'm right. So instead I nervously await my fate, hoping that I'm wrong but fearing that I'm right. It's like when I sit at home after a really good date, expecting the phone call from the shadchan telling me the guy isn't interested, except that more is at stake than my pride now.

There is very, very little I can do. Mostly what I can do is carry on as usual, as if I am not expecting anything to change. Act normal, and maybe things will continue to be normal.

I hope.